First Things First

by Matt Leung

Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33

Inevitably, when I read this scripture, the first thing that comes to mind is a certain song I used to sing at church camp. Putting things to song isn’t in and of itself bad (it’s a really great way to remember the 50 states, in alphabetical order, for example). The problem for me in this case is that this catchy song has reduced the power of this verse into a simple melody, undercutting the profound statement it is. If you were to actually look into my life, it looks nothing like seek first the kingdom of God... Truthfully, if you wrote lyrics descriptive of me they would read something more like:

Seek my goals and benefits first,
Then if I have free time, maybe, I might go and seek God’s kingdom,
Women echo: (But only if it doesn’t require much work, Amen.)

At church this Sunday God hit me with Matthew’s words and it got me thinking. I began to wonder if I believed this verse. From a logical perspective I really can’t argue against the falseness of it. It doesn’t contradict anything from the Bible, or contrast with what I’ve learned to be true. It simply states that: Seek God = A, all else = B, and if you do A, then B will happen.

My next thought was that maybe this is an idea that God wants us to take metaphorically and not literally, like when Jesus said I should gouge out my eyes if they’re causing me to sin. I mean God can’t seriously expect me to do this. My head says “I have 3 tests this week, so that means spending less time with God and studying first,” or “I’ve never mentioned Christ to this friend, if I mention it now, it could be really weird, so I’ll just not.”

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that seeking God’s kingdom cannot involve writing your paper or that sometimes it might not be best to bring up Christ in a conversation; but in my life, I have taken my own initiative in doing what I want first and finding time for God later. Because of this, I have noticed I hardly ever find time for God later. I’m too consumed with finding that perfect internship, looking for a recommendation, or keeping my reputation to worry about God’s kingdom. I find myself doing the things I want to first and then if I have time I seek God’s kingdom.

So, for me it’s more like I’ll do B (everything else) and if time permits I’ll do A (seek God and His kingdom). However, when I do things using my own equation, I end up not doing A at all, my time consumed by all of the B things, only to find out later that my pursuits were rather selfish and unproductive. My life is all about the B things, but I’m finding out those everything else pursuits don’t really bring me the happiness I imagined they would. Doing things my way has helped me realize that many of the B things in my life, like seeking a high GPA and a good letter of recommendation, stockpiling popularity, and living a life of comfort and safety don’t really bring me much worth holding onto.

I’m starting to wonder what it would look like to take this verse literally – to move it out of my mind and into my actions. This would mean I would look for God first, and then all else would be taken care of, a much different perspective than what I have now. It would mean trying to show God to the world, even when I’m having a horrible day. It might mean talking to a friend about Christ when it could be very awkward. It would, I think, require changing my entire schedule so that my attention is on God first and on my other ambitions second. And according to the equation (seek God first, and the other things second) the other things will be taken care of. This seems a little illogical, but then again what I am doing now (the “logical” way) doesn’t really seem to be bringing me joy and peace.

All along I have thought that doing B would make me happy, but recently I’ve come to realize that B – seeking my goals – will only make me happy if those things are continually trumped by A – seeking God. It seems that living out this scripture would require tons of faith, but I guess I should just dive in; because, the “illogical” thing to do would be to continue doing things the way I’m doing them now, feeling miserable as a result.

The Light (Part 4)

by Joseph Simmons, physicist

“In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good….” (Genesis 1:1-4)

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” (Psalm 27:1)

“Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, ‘I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.’” (John 8:12)

“In him was life; and the life was the light of men.” (John 1:5)

“That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world” (John 1:9)

“For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him: And he is before all things, and by him all things consist.” (Colossians 1:16-17)

When creating a spiritual analogy for the physical phenomenon of light one mostly thinks of sight and purity and possibly that light is needed in the physical world because it is the source of nearly all the energy we use and consume, among other things. However there is a necessity found in light that is far more fundamental and urgent than all of these things, and therefore I think worth mentioning.

Physically, when light is spoken of perhaps two different things are meant by it. Most commonly when we talk about light we’re talking about luminosity – that is visible light that is emitted by an object that allows us to see it as well as see other things. Light is also spoken of as electromagnetic waves, or things that are sufficiently equivalent. Now there is no difference between the two of these except that when you think of seeing something you probably don’t think of phrases like electromagnetic fields or forces or photons. However I think an important analogue can be found when thinking of these phrases.

Consider atoms, which consist of electrons and nuclei. Atoms come together to form molecules, which come together to form practically everything we observe and interact with. Some interesting questions are: “What hold atoms together?” and “Why are molecules formed?” and “What gives things their shape?” The answers are, of course, that light holds the electrons in atoms and light forms molecules and therefore determines the shape of things (light also keeps us from falling when we’re grounded). If we’re in a place without a sufficiently luminous object then we can’t see anything, but if light didn’t exist inside of us, we wouldn’t be held together and therefore wouldn’t be capable of seeing at all, we wouldn’t exist at all.

In the Bible we see references to light as something that shines so that we may see and something that deals with purity. However, I think we may find more to light than the analogy of seeing. Because of Christ we may see. But Christ is light, not merely a lamp. So by Christ we are held together and are given our form. By him all things consist and have their being.

The Light (Part 3)

by Brett Westervelt

Light is really the core of life. Take away the sun and we would return to dust much more quickly than normal. Alive, my ability to see is only as good as the quality of the light shining on and around whatever I’m trying to look at.

I take the light in my life fairly for granted – with the sun by day and the light bulb (in all its glorified forms) by night. These are faithful, reliable resources that fade into the background when competing with the more pressing thoughts so often on my mind. Light stands idly by, foundational but forgotten, hardly spiritual.

I wonder if this explains a divine purpose in the rising and the setting sun. Each morning the sun makes a glorious return, each evening a vaunted exit. The light arrives, but it will not be ours to tame. It vanishes, but we can rest, hopeful of its return.

Photographers call the light in the hours right around the sun’s entrance and exit magic light, because at these times of day their subjects take on a surreal, otherworldly character. The best pictures are taken during these hours, they freeze things at their most sacred moments. There’s something spiritual about changing light. It’s magical, it’s mystical.

Take any field outside of town as an example. It’s remarkable that some grass, some rocks, and a few trees can shift from being unseen and unknowable to dreary and dead to aglow and alive, based on how a few rays interact with these idly placed objects. It’s humbling to admit that this is true of our own lives as well. It certainly puts Jesus – the light to live life by, as John calls Him - in His place.

The Light (Part 2)

by Jason Stenhouse

Color is strange. Some thoughts about the colors black and white.

I usually think of things that are black as being evil or dark, while things that are white I consider being good or holy/clean. The color black is caused by objects absorbing all the light that is shining on them, while white objects are reflecting all of the light. The black objects don't give anything back, they just keep sucking; kind of like a black hole. The white objects give everything back, all of the light that is shining on them.

I think that's kind of neat. I also think that it is neat that God calls Himself light. Maybe these two colors with light could be a metaphor for how we are to be, as bearers of God's image. Jesus, as well as the saints in Revelation, are wrapped completely in white clothing. Possibly because they are perfectly reflecting all that God is. Reflecting His character and love: the very light that is shining on them.

I feel like God is calling us all to be wrapped in whiteness as well, reflecting all of who God is back out for others to see. The problem is that I all too often feel like a dense, black hole taking everything given to me but never giving anything back.

I don't think that I am completely black any longer, but I don't feel like I'm completely white either. Maybe I'm a shade of grey; reflecting bits and pieces of God's love and character outwards. I don't know.

The Light (Part One)

This is the first in an ongoing discussion on light. We'll start with some outside thoughts that got us talking...

by Donald Miller
excerpted from the book Through Painted Deserts.

"In the Hebrew tradition, which splintered off into the Christian tradition, which is how I was raised, light is a metaphor. God makes a cosmos out of the nothingness, a molecular composition, of which He is not and never has been, as anything is limiting, and God has no limits. In this way, He isn’t, and yet is.

The poetic imagery is rather beautiful, stating that all we see and feel and touch, the hardness of dense atoms, the softness of a breeze (atoms perhaps loose as if in play) is the breath of God. And into this being, into this existence, God first creates light. This light is not to be confused with the sun and moon and stars, as they are not created until later. He simply creates light, a nonsubstance that is like a particle and like a wave, but perhaps neither, just some kind of traveling energy. A kind of magnetic wave. Light, then, becomes a fitting metaphor for a nonbeing who is...

...Consider the complexity of light; we see what it touches. It is more or less invisible, made from nothing, just purposed and focused energy, infinite in its power (it will never tire if fired into a vacuum, going on forever). How fitting, then, for God to create an existence, then a metaphor, as if to say, here is something entirely unlike you, outside of time, infinite in its power and thrust: here is something you can experience but cannot understand. Throughout the remainder of the Bible, then, God calls Himself light."

A Dangerous Confession

Editor's Note: The following are some thoughts Tiffany had the other day that I thought might be the beginning of an interesting discussion. Read and then contribute your thoughts by way of the comments section. We'll see what happens.

by Tiffany Dang

I had a conversation with a friend last week that left me bothered. My friend mentioned that I talk about my sin a lot, and wondered why this was exactly. I generally trust what this friend perceives and says, and so I started to think about why I do this, why I talk about my sin so much.

I started to wonder if people perceive me as someone who can’t see past her sin, who dwells on it too much. If that is the case, then I would be taking away from what Jesus did on Calvary, but I don't think I do. I never want to get to a point where my sin is okay and I can live with it. I want to be someone who can see her sin for what it is. I want to be disgusted by it. I want to see that it is a relational crime against this person I claim to love. I want to see that it tears at the heart of my savior, because only then can I love him more.

If I don't understand how repulsive my sin is to the Father, then I don't understand my need. I don't understand why Jesus came and I can't fall in love with him because I can't grasp what grace is. I don't like seeing that I have areas in my life that are not what they should be. I don't like knowing that I'm not perfect and that I don't deserve Jesus in any way. I'd rather earn my way. But I am grateful that he is going to see me through and isn't going to leave me the way that I currently am. I love that there is hope in my story because I have claimed Jesus as my Lord. I often identify with the woman in Luke – I love Jesus all the more because I see what he chose to die for. He risked himself on me – someone who more often than not chooses to cheat on him and make him feel like he doesn't matter. And sometimes it doesn't faze me. And he knew that and he still chose to fight for my freedom.

When I recognize this, my response is to fall on my face and fall in love with him because I can't do anything but. I hope that makes sense. I probably didn't even need to tell you this. I am not a depressed person that thinks she's worthless, but I think I see what I would be had God not rescued me from myself and I'm glad that he's given me a new name. I'm a person seeking to walk with the Spirit and discover who I am to be...this person that his love has allowed me to be.

Outside Thought

Every now and then we want to bring some outside voices into this modest forum of thought. Dallas Willard is head of the philosophy department at USC, and his writing and thoughts are insightful, not just in an academic sense but in a practical sense as well.

Stepping Into Community
Dallas Willard with Eric Hurtgen
Courtesy of RelevantMagazine.com

Dallas Willard is not a hurried or haunted man. When he speaks, his words come easy and natural, amended by a bit of southern lilt that traces him back to his rural Missouri roots. His pauses can feel like great gaping holes to an interviewer more accustomed to the dizzying pace of simultaneous high speed internet interaction and cell phone chatter. When Dallas Willard does answer, it seems to come from some deep place inside him, not just skimmed-off something from the surface.

Willard, of course, is an author and a teacher who's been thinking about God longer than most of us have been alive. Though his vocational calling is philosophy professor, if you have heard of him at all, it's probably not because of his provocative insights into phenomenology or his defense of standard formal logic. Most of his renown comes from his insistence on the primacy of Jesus' teaching for Christianity. In a recent interview from his home, Willard addressed the "seduction of technology" and "stepping into the community that already exists."

RelevantMagazine.com: I've been thinking about this year's high school graduates, and their experiences and how they're really the first full generation to never have experienced life without the internet and these tremendous integrated systems of ours. To what degree do you think that this kind of technology and connection helps or hurts Christian discipleship?

Dallas Willard: ...Well, I deal daily with college students and I have seen the seduction of technology. We live in a world where technology lifts mankind into a false sense of power and as a result my students have a feeling that if they can do something they should. They feel that they can go here, go there, shut that out, do what they want to, and that is the most seductive aspect to technology: it creates a false sense of intimacy and a false sense of sense of self.

Now, that need not rule out the use of technology, the bad aspects can be resisted, but you do need to have a place to stand in order to present yourself in a way that allows you to handle all the things that are coming at you. For example: games. For many young people this is just their life; they sit staring into some kind of screen endlessly, they come into class playing games, pretending they're taking notes. They become obsessed. And that's the difficulty: the obsession and the subsequent distraction that they experience.

We have this phenomenon of Attention Deficit that people are experiencing and diagnosing right and left. The problem is not deficit of attention but the distraction and splintering of attention. You almost never see a young person today who's paying attention to one thing. There are various devices that they're carrying and are plugged into and they just want to live in that world. All this amounts to a tremendous problem and we can describe it as the inner gathering of the self.

RM: The inner gathering of the self...?

DW: The inner gathering of the self just means that you have a chosen direction and your life is organized around it. What young people today, both Christian and non-Christian are experiencing is not a chosen direction, though there is the illusion that they are choosing. Rather, young people today are being constantly pulled by things that they submit themselves to. That's the great temptation and the great problem for many people today. Most don't even notice the temptation, but their lives are being pulled apart by it. And when it comes to issues of exercising character and will, it simply isn't there for them. They can only respond to things that are pulling at them.

Continue reading at RelevantMagazine.com

All Chained Up With No Place To Go

OR Freedom From The Inside, Out

by Brett Westervelt

Stenhouse and I were sitting out on the patio at Peet’s the other day, taking in a little foretaste of fall weather divine, talking about the gospel and the resulting freedom that we’re supposed to feel from living under grace. It was for freedom that Christ has set us free.

We were talking about how hard it can be to actually feel set free from our depravity. It turns out that shouting “I’m free” at the top of your lungs doesn’t tend to get you much further than a few furrowed brows and some curious glances.

I told Jason that I found it interesting that we tend to measure the quality of our spiritual life by checklists of activities: church attendance, quiet times, minutes in prayer – easily quantifiable things, the rules and norms of Christendom. There’s not a whole lot that’s overtly relational in that list, not a whole lot that sounds like freedom. In fact we often feel utterly enslaved to these things, and to the expectations to be a good person, a certain Christian typecast. Instead of enjoying and figuring out how to be free, we have rushed to make up some new rules to follow. I think this might be because actual freedom is a bit unsettling. I’m free, so now what am I to do exactly? It’s nice to have a way to measure performance, to feel on top of things.

Stenhouse compared it to when Lincoln abolished slavery. All of these slaves, formerly with little hope and with no ability to make their own decisions were suddenly set free. They had opportunities, they could go anywhere, travel freely; and yet a fair number of these remained where they were as indentured servants. They had lived lives of slavery for so long that they had no concept of freedom.

A story in Mark’s gospel account came up, about when Jesus healed a demon-possessed man. According to Mark the man “lived among the tombs; and no one could restrain him anymore, even with a chain; for he had often been retrained with shackles and chains, but the chains were wrenched apart, and the shackles he broke in pieces; and no one had the strength to subdue him. Night and day among the tombs and on the mountains he was always howling and bruising himself with stones.”

This guy was a danger to himself and to the people living around him. Bruising himself with stones. Howling. The best the townspeople could think to do (to protect themselves, but also him) was to chain him up, to physically restrain him from tearing himself apart. His unchained freedom was wrecking havoc, and the best solution was outward force. Even if these chains had held (they hadn’t), this would have been a sad existence for this man: alone, on the outskirts of the city, living among the dead.

Jesus of course had different designs. He knew that the man’s troubles were internal – demons controlling his ravings – and he cast this Legion out. Jesus provided a lasting freedom for this man, an internal healing that allowed him to again be a part of the society around him. Jesus actually sent him back to the towns, to proclaim all that the Messiah had done for him – the mercy and freedom that Jesus had provided.

We live in America, “where at least I know I’m free.” The problem with the freedom that we experience is that it’s not so much freedom as a delicate balance between license and law – external forces that allow us to do what we want, selfishness and depravity in tow, as long as our actions don’t hurt others too badly. Those lines of permissibility are being continually redrawn, much like the hemlines of actresses in movies and on television. Cultural acceptability is continually being reformed.

Jesus was always valuing the internal over the external. Complaining of white-washed tombs and cups only washed on the outside, speaking to the heart of the law (love God and other people) more than the guises of it. He healed outcasts so that they could again be a part of their community; He forgave our sins so that we could again have a relationship with God, and so that we might experience relationships with others founded on the kind of enabling grace that fallen creatures such as ourselves need.

Instead of inner transformation we often run to external devices, our moral measuring tapes, unsure of what freedom entails. I wonder what we miss in our continued pursuit of slavery. Are the actions that we would label “Christian” a reflection of the internal freedom only Christ can provide, or are they simply a new set of chains and shackles, ones that won’t hold for long?

Hodgepodge

A look inside the head of a 6'4" campus minister.
by Todd Stewman

Lately I’m really into the chicken flautas at Curra’s. This has become a favorite place for Amy and me…and I always get the flautas. You should go and you should get the flautas.

We found out on Wednesday that we are having another little girl! That makes tres chicas. Can one man possibly handle the sweetness being funneled my way? Although I’ve got mad Ving skills and uncanny football knowledge to pass on to a little boy, God (for some reason) wants me to be a dad of little girls. I can’t argue with that blessing.

If we don’t beat OU on Saturday, you may not see me around next week. Circumstances should not dictate my attitude, but I’m just sayin’.

Have you read Lamentations lately? The seriousness of sin and the magnitude of God’s judgment against it are powerfully expressed in this lament of Jeremiah. God’s compassion and grace are also right there in the middle of the fallenness…as always.

Fig Leaves and Circus Acts

by Jason Stenhouse

Thinking of the fall and its far-reaching effects has led me to believe that life is a circus. And I’m not sure just how metaphorically I’m speaking.

When Adam and Eve were in the garden all was grand, but they ate of the fruit that they weren’t supposed to, severing relationship with God. When they took that first bite, truth and honesty got in the backseat and falsehood took the wheel. First they realized that they were naked and covered themselves with fig leaves; then they hid themselves from God. Mankind could no longer stand in honesty with one another or with God. The end result of all this was that we lost our innocence and became performance artists. It kind of sucks.

This is where the whole circus thing comes into play. The Big Top is about performance, a group of people amazing us with their freakish gifts and talents. The performers try and get the crowd wooing and aahing. I wonder though, if God has a hard time separating the show from the crowd.

I believe that a great tent was erected on the earth on the day when Adam and Eve rebelled against God. A cloth and canvas sky replaced the sun, hiding man from God; creating the perfect environment for men to perform for one another. We are all members of this circus. It’s how we all hide from each other. Most of us have a certain way we act around others, a certain trait we are known for. We base much of our identity on just how well we perform for others. This is the life of a circus act. The jugglers juggle and the clowns are funny. That’s who they are and if they aren’t filling their roles then they won’t be paid for long.

Some of us are considered the leaders in our pack; the ones who guide the way. When we aren’t in control we lose our cool, and we get down on ourselves. I think of these leaders as the animal trainers – they carry the whip and wear the fine clothing. They are in control of their environment; a loss of control means a loss of identity. There are many of us who are the jokers and clowns. We are the funny ones and if we’re not being funny, or others don’t get the joke we get depressed and search for other ways of being amusing. It’s how we are accepted. There are the jugglers who get lost in activity moving from one thing to the next. If they are not busy then they deem that something is wrong or missing. I fall all too often into the juggler’s shoes. And then there are the circus freaks. The ones who base their identity on their looks – whether good or bad. The beauty queens find identity in other’s admiring glances, while the dwarves and disfigured find identity in the curious looks. It’s all one big game of hiding.

Not everyone can be boxed up into one of these circus acts but we all do it. And there are many more roles where we find our identity. I do it everyday with every person I come across. I perform. I take turns at being the clown, the animal trainer, the juggler, and even the freak. I hide and I run. God came 2000 years ago to do away with this circus way of life. What if we could truly embrace Jesus’ way of living, take Him as our very identity? We wouldn’t need to hide anymore or perform. We would be complete. If the circus tent is falling, how will we respond?

When Being Saved

by Tina Mojica

Being Saved! isn’t enough.

After many trials and tribulations about whether or not to see this “controversial” movie, I decided that it couldn’t hurt. Knowing that I myself had complaints about the Christian subculture, I was curious to see someone else’s take on it. I don’t in any way recommend this movie to everyone. It’s not for the faint of heart and it’s not for people who aren’t willing to see why this movie was made. As far as I can tell this movie is not about making fun of God or Jesus (which is a reason most people give for boycotting it); it is about making fun of those who say they follow Christ, but have become slaves to legalism and the desire to fit Christ into what the world loves; making Christ nothing more than an adjective to be placed before the latest trend and forgetting that Christ in and of himself is all that matters.

Lately in Cru we have been talking about the core of the gospel: Creation. Fall. Redemption. In these talks the focus has always been our relationship to Christ. No matter how much we like to think we are the center of the universe, if we say we are Christians we are to live our lives based on the truth that it’s all about Christ. Christian community finds itself stagnant when Christ is pushed aside and human desires are placed on the throne. Stagnation leads to apathy, which can lead to bitterness.

In Saved! we see this happen at American Eagle Christian High School, where Christianity is brought to a ridiculous extreme of pop culture references, false piety, and complacency. Those who claim to be “filled with Christ’s love” are the first to turn their back on a friend when she becomes pregnant outside of marriage. Instead of showing God’s love they use spiritual laws as a way to shun her out of good society and never once mention grace. They never venture to think of their own need for grace. Instead the main character finds love and compassion in the two people the school has deemed outcasts. Neither of these characters believes in Christ, but this does not keep them from showing love and compassion as Christ does.

Going into this movie I was expecting to be offended, but really I was just sad. The Christians in Saved! are not figments of the director's imagination, they exist in our everyday lives, and if we’re not careful we will become them. When we lose sight of Christ as the author and perfecter of our faith, when we forget that we were saved by grace and called to love one another as God loves us, when we forget that it’s not about my “success in the Lord” but about God’s glorifying Himself in our weakness, we set ourselves up to experience the fall all over again. When we decide to go through life on our own strength, and only use God as a magic talisman against the “heathens” of the world or as a get out of hell free card, we are no better off than Adam and Eve hiding from God in the garden after they betrayed Him. We try to use our good works and reputations to clothe ourselves, but really we’re still naked. We are in need of communion with a God who loves us and pursues us even when we run from Him.

Although the pitfalls seen in the Christian community of Saved! may seem farfetched, the snares are all around us and not so difficult to fall into. How do we avoid falling in? We invite God into every venture. We escape the bitterness and the feeling of being burdened by spiritual laws by praising and worshiping God for being faithful, patient, slow to anger and abounding in love. We don’t let ourselves become so comfortable with the idea of salvation that it is nothing more than fire insurance. Instead we live every day remembering Christ’s sacrifice on the cross because of His great love for us. We die to ourselves daily and treat others as better than ourselves, loving them as God loves us. And we always remember that it is we, that God called us to be a community and that it is as a body that we can stand up against the temptations of the world, living in the light as one in Christ.