Fig Leaves and Circus Acts
by Jason Stenhouse
Thinking of the fall and its far-reaching effects has led me to believe that life is a circus. And I’m not sure just how metaphorically I’m speaking.
When Adam and Eve were in the garden all was grand, but they ate of the fruit that they weren’t supposed to, severing relationship with God. When they took that first bite, truth and honesty got in the backseat and falsehood took the wheel. First they realized that they were naked and covered themselves with fig leaves; then they hid themselves from God. Mankind could no longer stand in honesty with one another or with God. The end result of all this was that we lost our innocence and became performance artists. It kind of sucks.
This is where the whole circus thing comes into play. The Big Top is about performance, a group of people amazing us with their freakish gifts and talents. The performers try and get the crowd wooing and aahing. I wonder though, if God has a hard time separating the show from the crowd.
I believe that a great tent was erected on the earth on the day when Adam and Eve rebelled against God. A cloth and canvas sky replaced the sun, hiding man from God; creating the perfect environment for men to perform for one another. We are all members of this circus. It’s how we all hide from each other. Most of us have a certain way we act around others, a certain trait we are known for. We base much of our identity on just how well we perform for others. This is the life of a circus act. The jugglers juggle and the clowns are funny. That’s who they are and if they aren’t filling their roles then they won’t be paid for long.
Some of us are considered the leaders in our pack; the ones who guide the way. When we aren’t in control we lose our cool, and we get down on ourselves. I think of these leaders as the animal trainers – they carry the whip and wear the fine clothing. They are in control of their environment; a loss of control means a loss of identity. There are many of us who are the jokers and clowns. We are the funny ones and if we’re not being funny, or others don’t get the joke we get depressed and search for other ways of being amusing. It’s how we are accepted. There are the jugglers who get lost in activity moving from one thing to the next. If they are not busy then they deem that something is wrong or missing. I fall all too often into the juggler’s shoes. And then there are the circus freaks. The ones who base their identity on their looks – whether good or bad. The beauty queens find identity in other’s admiring glances, while the dwarves and disfigured find identity in the curious looks. It’s all one big game of hiding.
Not everyone can be boxed up into one of these circus acts but we all do it. And there are many more roles where we find our identity. I do it everyday with every person I come across. I perform. I take turns at being the clown, the animal trainer, the juggler, and even the freak. I hide and I run. God came 2000 years ago to do away with this circus way of life. What if we could truly embrace Jesus’ way of living, take Him as our very identity? We wouldn’t need to hide anymore or perform. We would be complete. If the circus tent is falling, how will we respond?
Thinking of the fall and its far-reaching effects has led me to believe that life is a circus. And I’m not sure just how metaphorically I’m speaking.
When Adam and Eve were in the garden all was grand, but they ate of the fruit that they weren’t supposed to, severing relationship with God. When they took that first bite, truth and honesty got in the backseat and falsehood took the wheel. First they realized that they were naked and covered themselves with fig leaves; then they hid themselves from God. Mankind could no longer stand in honesty with one another or with God. The end result of all this was that we lost our innocence and became performance artists. It kind of sucks.
This is where the whole circus thing comes into play. The Big Top is about performance, a group of people amazing us with their freakish gifts and talents. The performers try and get the crowd wooing and aahing. I wonder though, if God has a hard time separating the show from the crowd.
I believe that a great tent was erected on the earth on the day when Adam and Eve rebelled against God. A cloth and canvas sky replaced the sun, hiding man from God; creating the perfect environment for men to perform for one another. We are all members of this circus. It’s how we all hide from each other. Most of us have a certain way we act around others, a certain trait we are known for. We base much of our identity on just how well we perform for others. This is the life of a circus act. The jugglers juggle and the clowns are funny. That’s who they are and if they aren’t filling their roles then they won’t be paid for long.
Some of us are considered the leaders in our pack; the ones who guide the way. When we aren’t in control we lose our cool, and we get down on ourselves. I think of these leaders as the animal trainers – they carry the whip and wear the fine clothing. They are in control of their environment; a loss of control means a loss of identity. There are many of us who are the jokers and clowns. We are the funny ones and if we’re not being funny, or others don’t get the joke we get depressed and search for other ways of being amusing. It’s how we are accepted. There are the jugglers who get lost in activity moving from one thing to the next. If they are not busy then they deem that something is wrong or missing. I fall all too often into the juggler’s shoes. And then there are the circus freaks. The ones who base their identity on their looks – whether good or bad. The beauty queens find identity in other’s admiring glances, while the dwarves and disfigured find identity in the curious looks. It’s all one big game of hiding.
Not everyone can be boxed up into one of these circus acts but we all do it. And there are many more roles where we find our identity. I do it everyday with every person I come across. I perform. I take turns at being the clown, the animal trainer, the juggler, and even the freak. I hide and I run. God came 2000 years ago to do away with this circus way of life. What if we could truly embrace Jesus’ way of living, take Him as our very identity? We wouldn’t need to hide anymore or perform. We would be complete. If the circus tent is falling, how will we respond?
posted at 12:50 PM
4 Comments:
"The sweet sound of amazing grace saves us from the necessity of self-deception." Brennan Manning
"[i'm not a] wide-eyed idealist who only sees good in people. cockeyed, maybe...i do see the good in people, but i also see the bad-i see it in myself. i know what i'm capable of...just b/c i often find a way around the darkness doesn't mean that i don't know it's there. coolness might help in your negotiation with people in the world, maybe, but it is impossible to meet God with sunglasses on. it is impossible to meet God without abandon, without exposing yourself."-bono
often times i come before the Father with this spiritual resume thinking i can convince Him to like me. sometimes i think He wants me to have it all together before i meet Him but that's where i have it wrong. He just wants me: flaws, mess, ugly, nasty and all. i wonder if i really believed i was safe in His love, would i walk around pretending? if who i am is not contigent upon anything i do or upon anyone else, would i be content in resting in His love alone and not my role?
to add: sometimes i think we have to earn God's love and that's what sends us on this path to compete for it and create these roles so we feel as though we deserve it. how far we have strayed from grace. we strip everything Jesus did at calvary.
wow...that was blasphemous..brett, erase it. i meant: sometimes i think we think we have to earn God's love....
you're right tiff. our performance springs from this desire to earn God's love. and how eskew is that. whats even worse is the thought that we continue to do it even after we accept His grace. like we really could earn it. He is far more gracious than any of us could ever hope or imagine.
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